Life Changer

A few weeks ago, there was an event in my world that unexpectedly changed my life. After some reflection following the event, I figured out what's important and what's not. Mostly, how I want to live the rest of my life. Here's what I came up with.

In several capacities this year, I have been reminded of the immensity of love. Through exciting vicissitudes that have been celebrated to heartbreaking experiences that have been grieved, it has been reiterated how powerful love can be, and what a difference it makes.

I vow to love hard. I am going to fall in love with as many things as I possibly can. There are several cities that hold a special place in my heart, however, for the first time this year, I fell in love with a city (Asheville, NC) and I can't wait to find another one that makes me feel that same way.

Smart is sexy. Smart is powerful. I want to learn more. I want to earn my MBA. I want to earn my APR. I want to learn a new language. I want to never have to refer to my AP Style Handbook. And I can. And I will.

Being mean gets you absolutely nowhere. I have had some great days that have instantly turned on me because someone came out of left field with something ugly. It hurts, and I refuse to do that to someone else. I will continue to be kind. I will continue to be grateful. And I will make absolutely certain that people leave a conversation with me feeling better. Feeling good. Feeling appreciated. Praise is power. If someone does a good job with something, I will praise that.

Laughter cures all. You all know my laugh is anything but subtle. I am going to laugh hard and laugh often. I will laugh at all the wrong times. And all of the right times. I will laugh until I cry. I will laugh at things that are completely inappropriate. And I will laugh as loudly as I want without caring what anyone thinks.

I will make a concerted effort to not sweat the small stuff. I will try to not waste my imagination on worrying about what I cannot control. I will try with all of my heart to learn how to be patient. I am flawed. I am very aware that I am flawed. I am sensitive and impatient and I have been since day one. I don't know if that can change, but I promise to try.

I will tell the people I care about exactly how I feel about them. I will tell them that they've changed my life in so many incredible ways. That they've shaped me into who I am. That I miss them, all of them, every single day. That without them, I wouldn't survive. I will remind them how important they are. And I will do this often.

If the day comes, I will strive to be as amazing of a parent as both Dock and Dizz are. I will never, ever make my children feel alone. I will forgive them for their mistakes and flaws. I will hold their hand at the doctors office. Even when they're 26. I will support absolutely anything they find themselves to be passionate about. I will laugh with them, cry with them, suffer and celebrate with them. Every day.

I am saddened that something so painful happened to someone that I love very much, but I truly believe that he was brought into my life for a reason - and that has been confirmed. He taught me who I am.

The Nitty Gritty

I don't typically answer these sorts of chain emails (anymore. Let's be honest, I was a big fan of FB "notes" back in the day) but I received this today, filled out by a friend, and learned a few things. There are a ridic amount of questions - but, should you be interested - here it is. Anything you could ever possibly want to know about me.

Height: 5'8
Shoe Size: 7
Sexual Orientation: Love me some southern men
Age you get mistaken for: Last night at the KP concert, I was asked which high school I go to in Raleigh
Have Tattoos? Yes. This is not something I'm particularly proud of...
Want any tattoos? Sometimes I get the urge for another. But there are no other places on my body I'd want to tattoo
Got any Piercings? Yes. Too many
Want any piercings? There isn't anything left to pierce
Best friend? The B
Biggest fears: Losing my parents
Biggest celeb crush: Andy Samburg
Favorite Movie: Love Actually
I’ll love you if: You make me laugh
Someone you miss: Dock and Dizz
Most traumatic experience: Toronto. Almost didn't make it out alive
A fact about your personality: It's big
What I hate most about myself: My lack of patience
What I love most about myself: My genuine belief that I can find the good in any situation
What I want to be when I get older: Happy
My relationship with my sibling(s): I adore the Bub
My relationship with my parents: They are the epitome of who I want to be. A combination of kindness, humility and confidence
My idea of a perfect date: Any kind of sporting event filled with a passion for the event, and lots of laughs
My biggest pet peeves: The reply all button
A description of the girl/boy I like: Honesty and the patience that I lack
A description of my best friend: The B is everything I'm not. Brilliant, courageous, and 110% confident in every decision she makes
What my last text message says: "Miss your face"
What words upset me the most: "It is what it is"
What words make me feel the best about myself: "I enjoy working with you"
A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: To win the lottery
What I find attractive in boys. A good sense of humor. The ability to understand my family dynamic
Where I would like to live. I'm diggin Raleigh
One of my insecurities. A lot of people can't handle my laugh. I am insecure about that sometimes
My childhood career choice. I always knew I'd be in PR
My favorite ice cream. Ice cream hurts my belly, unfortunately. I'll only eat it on a "bad night" (ie: when Lucas and Peyton bolted) b/c I think I should. Always regret it
Who I wish I could be. I'm pretty jazzed about who I am
Where I want to be right now. In bed watching crappy TV. Or at the beach, drinking a pina colada
The last thing I ate. Filet Kabobs from Sitti. Delish.
Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. Sexy to me is funny. Andy Samburg (again)
A random fact about anything: John Wall is from Raleigh

Your turn!

DIG

A while ago, Dock and I decided to start a business. After our initial planning meeting, we named this business DIG - Draper Investment Group. Basically, the goal of our side start up company is to win the lottery. So, every Tuesday and Friday, it is mine and his responsibility to buy a (hopefully winning) lottery ticket. When one of us hits the jackpot, we will split the winnings 60 - 40. While I am the president of the company, he wins the 60 because frankly, he paid for the first, well, 25 years of my life. I probably owe him a few bucks.

So with this new endeavor, I have carefully selected Raleigh's lucky gas station and frequent this secret spot twice a week to invest in DIG. This morning, when I stopped to buy the ticket for tomorrow's drawing, "Pete" (I'm not sure that's his real name, since he can't speak a whole lot of English, but that's what he's asked me to call him now that we're friends) asked me what I would do with the winnings.

Naturally, during the rest of the drive to work (at my real job) I thought about what, exactly, I would spend all of that cash on. Before investing and saving, I came up with the first six things I would do with my 40%.

1. Pay for the rest of Bub's schooling
2. Buy my Chloe bag
3. Pay off the rest of my car
4. Head to Napa Valley for a week
5. Start a scholarship at the University of Kentucky that pays for a super fun girl interested in PR to go to school
6. Buy a bar so SL and I can make our dreams a reality

What would you do with your lottery winnings?

Motivation

Today has been "one of those days" (gross cliche, I know) and when late afternoon struck, I found myself needing some extra inspiration. Naturally, I turned to the jam. The iPhone offers an app called "Group Me" which allows you to text multiple people at one time. Obviously, we have each downloaded this app so we can text each other at the same time.

I took a quick break today, to go outside and step away from the computer. While doing so, I sent a Group Me text to the jam saying "Left the office for a few to take a walk. Need motivation. Whatchya guys got?" Here were the responses. All one after the other, lasting about 10 minutes:

Dock: Trip to Baltimore on Friday to see rents

Bub: Be happy you're employed, things could be a lot worse

Bub: You get to go to the beach to see your brother in a month

Bub: You're in the south

Bub: You're prettier than 92% of all people

Dock: Smart, great family, ability to read and write

Bub: No birth defects

Dock: College degree, look good in blue, learning to whistle

Bub: Your dad tells really witty and humorous jokes

Dizz: Not married to a leprechaun

Dock: And his children inherited his sense of humor AND his bike riding posture

Note: Watching Dock ride a bike may be the best thing ever

Dock: Your bother is an intermediate horseback rider

Bub: You don't have fat people ankles

Dock: You can tell directions with your fore finger and thumb

Dizz: It's almost happy hour


Welcome to the jam...

Fate

I don't typically blog about my love life, or recent lack there of, however... One of the reasons I was pretty pumped to move to my beloved south has something to do with how I feel about southern gentlemen. That being said, I have a neighbor who is totally southern - Friendly, polite, dresses like a southerner, the whole nine yards. Sounds perfect, right?

It probably could be. Except that EVERY time I see him, I look ridiculous or do something embarrassing. A huge perk at the new gig is that on most days, we can dress casually. As you all know, any time I don't have to wear make-up, straighten my hair, or dress up, I definitely take full advantage. Therefore, 90% of the time I leave in the morning and come home at night, I'm wearing jeans, a t-shirt & a cardigan, no make-up and a pony tail. Inevitably, those are also always the days I see Mr. Happy Southern Boy.

Despite the fact that I rarely put myself together, I am even more of an embarrassment on weekend afternoons. Today, for example, I ventured out to grab some Subway for lunch wearing bright red Parkersburg High School sweat pants that I have cut into "capris", a THE Ohio State University (I know, repulsive. And I still have no idea why there is a THE involved) sweatshirt with a green shirt hanging out from under it, really cute strappy sandals and the Abby bun (all of my hair thrown up on the very top of my head.) Naturally, Mr. Happy Southern Boy was on his way out at the same time.

Two other gems that stand out to me (although, I've run into him looking like a fool many more times than that) include one morning that I was leaving for work, in my car, and he smiled his southern smile. My reaction? Total prom queen wave with matching enormous, exaggerated smile. Secondly, one night coming home from the gym (work out gear, still sweating...) I ran into him while carrying a Sam's Club sized box of tampons. Both mortifying.

So now, it's almost Saturday night. It's 80-some degrees out. I should probably pull myself together, plug in the straightener, and venture out. But, knowing me, I will do all that work just to learn he's out of town.

Milestones. What do they mean?

A friend of mine (who just became a mom for the first time) was sharing stories about different milestones her son has reached. Most of them were things I would expect - rolling over, holding his weight for a set amount of time, reacting to stories… the usual (Side note: I would still really love to learn how to spell the shortened version of usual). One that stood out to me was how excited she was about her 5 month old interacting with his toes. Prior to talking with her about its significance, I would have assumed that interaction would go unnoticed; it wouldn't stand out as a milestone.

Naturally, that led me to reflect on my own milestones. As every girl at 16 does, I had a very defined timeline filled with the obvious milestones. Graduate from high school, go to a great college, fall in love, get a degree, get married, find a job, have some kids, become "the boss" at a young age...

Hellooooo ten years later. While I have celebrated several of those "milestones," it is amazing how much my priorities have changed. What I define as a milestone now, I wouldn't have understood even six months ago.

I truly believe that there were subtle stepping stones (say that three times fast) along the way to help me define what is important, and what can wait. I graduated high school, I went to an amazing college, I fell in love, I earned a degree, I moved to a big city, and I started my first job. This is where I began to understand that change is a good thing, and I can decide what to consider a milestone for myself, and celebrate it however I want to.

I took a big chance at the end of last year, and packed up my life to move to a new city for a new job. I struggled for a couple of months in Raleigh both personally and professionally to establish a routine and a familiarity with totally new surroundings. It was actually pretty recently that I started to feel really good about… everything. And THAT is a huge milestone, in my book.

The relationship I have now with Dock, Dizz and Bub, as you know, is beyond incredible. Milestone. Feeling confident about myself as a professional. Milestone. Finally letting go of someone who loves to disappoint me. Milestone. Trusting myself in the decisions I am making. Milestone. Maintaining a budget. Milestone. (Huge milestone. Going from bartending cash in the pocket whenever I wanted to a paycheck took a while to get used to)

The list goes on.

This move sort of forced me to grow up. Not in a harsh manner, but in more of an accountability way. And with that, I have become hugely self aware of what is important and what is not. (Milestone)

I have no idea what will happen next. What I do know is that I am already excited for it.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Recently, I was asked to review the four work styles, as defined by the American Association of Advertising Agencies, and classify myself into the thinking, feeling, sensing or intuiting category. This activity was familiar to me, in that I recalled exploring these characteristics in college to establish an idea of how I would be as a professional in the future. I also grew up very close to PR, so it shouldn't surprise you that Dock and I have discussed these work styles numerous times.

The difference this time is that I have a few years under my belt. I have gained experience with different types of agencies, surroundings, clients and colleagues. That being said, it was very easy to put my finger on exactly which work style I fit under.

Before I elaborate - take a minute to review each of the four work styles:

Thinking as a primary work style:

Positives:
• Fact-oriented
• Interested in background
• Systematic
• Logical

Negatives:
• Can't think “outside the box”
• Not flexible
• Insensitive/stubborn
• Slow

Behavioral Focus – Organizing; problem solver

Value Orientation – Quality; Being "right"

Time View – Linear (past, present, future)

Office Style – Neat

Feeling as a primary style:

Positives:
• They love people
• Informal
• Spontaneous
• Empathetic

Negatives:
• Just jump into tasks
• "Wishy washy"
• Not detail-oriented
• Too sensitive

Behavioral Focus – Expressive

Value Orientation – Family; Friendship; Loyalty; Need appreciation; Good at networking

Time View – Lives in the past

Office Styles – The holder of office culture; Probably have snacks, live plants and pictures on desk

Sensing as a primary style:

Positives:
• Action-oriented
• Results-minded (Quick results)
• Decisive
• Verbally direct

Negatives:
• Abrupt/aggressive
• Get caught up in the moment
• Impatient
• Competitive

Behavioral Focus – Fast movers; "make things happen"

Value Orientation – Personal achievement; high control of situations; hard to delegate tasks

Time View – Lives in the present

Office Style – Multitasker; Has multiple windows open on computer at once

Intuiting as a primary style:

Positives:
• Loves ideas
• Creative
• Original
• Idealistic

Negatives:
• Dislikes closure
• Not logical
• Don't care for others
• Not goal-orientated

Behavioral Focus – Imagining; Speculating; "In the heads, not in the hands"

Value Orientation – New

Time View – Future thinking

Office Styles - Messy


While I think it's safe to assume there are characteristics of each style that fit into parts of everyone as a professional, if you know me, you know my primary style falls almost flawlessly into Feeling.

Prior to starting a career, I would have deemed myself otherwise, and I do believe that should I re-evaluate after another couple of years, things will most likely change. For now, this was a fun activity that gave me great insight into not only myself as a professional, but also allowed me to understand more about the people I am in contact with on a daily basis.

What is your work style?