12 Steps to Becoming a Successful Counselor

As a PR practitioner, (and probably with every other job), it is important to take breaks from a day in the office and allow time for professional development opportunities. Whether it be a refresher of the basics, or something you’ve never learned before, I believe the insight allows for a reminder of why I love what I do every day.

On Tuesday, I attended the NCPRSA Public Relations and Marketing Seminar where I sat in a session called “Counselors Are Made, Not Born: How to Grow Into a Counselor, Not Just a Tactician” and acquired 12 steps to becoming a successful counselor. Each of these resonated with me for several reasons. Here they are:

1. Be a student of humans: In order to be an auspicious counselor, we must understand how we think and act as individuals, specifically in a group settings. In public relations, as a counselor, you will be advantageous if you continue to be fascinated by, and study others.

2. Be a student of yourself: Understand what motivates you to assist in finding what motivates others. Be aware of how you interpret situations, as well as how you react to situations. Aspire to be the best version of yourself every day.

3. Be an expert: In your business, in your clients business, in your competition, in all current trends… The more you know, the better a counselor you will serve as to others.

4. Try on someone else’s shoes: In every situation ask yourself “what would it be like to be that person?” Understanding your audience is imperative.

5. Appeal to basic human instincts: Be certain that your guidance is allowing for a solution that keeps everyone healthy, safe, and comfortable.

6. Keep it simple: Confusing your audience does not inspire clarity or reason. Speak clearly, speak honestly and leave them with one thing to remember.

7. Show that you care: Oftentimes, the power of praise is forgotten. Check your ego at the door, be respectful of colleagues, attentive to clients, and never forget to say thank you. It goes farther than you think.

8. Show a “spark”: Whether you’re in a meeting, defining a strategy or solving a problem, present something new and different. Give those you are mentoring something to think about, and more importantly something to strive for.

9. “Be the ball, Danny” (This was presented by men…naturally, there was a sports reference): Too often, we forget to trust our instincts. Successful counselors trust their gut.

10. Learn to ask and to listen: Don’t be shy about asking questions and being inquisitive, regardless of your level or leadership. As a counselor, be patient with those who have questions.

11. Choose wisely: Counsel those who are excited to learn from you. Give them extra opportunities to go out a limb. Pass your expertise down the ladder – watching them grow into a counselor themselves is extremely rewarding.

12. Go forth and conquer: Be confident in your expertise. Be confident in the fact that people trust you. Be confident in the results you produce. You are a mentor, a role model, a counselor – go forth and conquer.

The Small Things

Naturally, I'm a huge a fan of a big surprise. Like when Santa put tickets to Cancun in my stocking, or when Dock decided to buy me a TV for no reason. Recently, though, I've been reminded how special the small surprises are, too.

Living far away from the jam, Dizz is quick to offer to order takeout and have it delivered to my house. The Adele Pandora station through the day is huge. I have a fave that lets me dream big and send totally expensive girly gift ideas to him, always responding with a hint of promise that I may own one of the items soon. "I miss your face" text messages make me smile every time.

I also think that the same sentiments can be shared in public relations. A hand written note goes a long way. Every time. I had to make an unexpected long overnight drive to DC and when I was due back in Raleigh, a colleague called (yes, called on the phone – not a text message!!) to make sure I had made it home safely. Hearing "thank you" at the office always changes a bad day.

The list goes on and on (I'm a lucky girl) but, the point is that small gestures are important. Whether they be for a friend, or in business, I am pleased to have been reminded how meaningful the small things can be.

Side note: Oh hey, October... Where has this year gone?!

Klout for a Cure

As you know, I try to be active in giving back, volunteering and supporting charities that mean something to me. Whether it be Toys for Tots, Relay for Life, Locks of Love or the Race for the Cure, I attempt to make it a point to remain an active champion for a good cause.

That being said, I have recently been challenged to improve my Klout score to 75, and am well on my way. The competitor in me is having a hard time not being there yet, so I have decided to turn this competition into a contribution.

Now through Wednesday (since I will be in the land of no service, Minnesota after that) a dollar will be donated (up to 500) to Susan G. Komen for the Cure, for every "Like" and/or comment on my Facebook status housing this blog, and every unique re-tweet on Twitter in support of the same thing.

While this is meant to be fun, it is also to (hopefully) raise $500 to donate to Susan G. Komen for the Cure in huge hopes of someday finding a cure for cancer.

Thanks in advance!

** Note Susan G. Komen is an IMRE client.

Life Changer

A few weeks ago, there was an event in my world that unexpectedly changed my life. After some reflection following the event, I figured out what's important and what's not. Mostly, how I want to live the rest of my life. Here's what I came up with.

In several capacities this year, I have been reminded of the immensity of love. Through exciting vicissitudes that have been celebrated to heartbreaking experiences that have been grieved, it has been reiterated how powerful love can be, and what a difference it makes.

I vow to love hard. I am going to fall in love with as many things as I possibly can. There are several cities that hold a special place in my heart, however, for the first time this year, I fell in love with a city (Asheville, NC) and I can't wait to find another one that makes me feel that same way.

Smart is sexy. Smart is powerful. I want to learn more. I want to earn my MBA. I want to earn my APR. I want to learn a new language. I want to never have to refer to my AP Style Handbook. And I can. And I will.

Being mean gets you absolutely nowhere. I have had some great days that have instantly turned on me because someone came out of left field with something ugly. It hurts, and I refuse to do that to someone else. I will continue to be kind. I will continue to be grateful. And I will make absolutely certain that people leave a conversation with me feeling better. Feeling good. Feeling appreciated. Praise is power. If someone does a good job with something, I will praise that.

Laughter cures all. You all know my laugh is anything but subtle. I am going to laugh hard and laugh often. I will laugh at all the wrong times. And all of the right times. I will laugh until I cry. I will laugh at things that are completely inappropriate. And I will laugh as loudly as I want without caring what anyone thinks.

I will make a concerted effort to not sweat the small stuff. I will try to not waste my imagination on worrying about what I cannot control. I will try with all of my heart to learn how to be patient. I am flawed. I am very aware that I am flawed. I am sensitive and impatient and I have been since day one. I don't know if that can change, but I promise to try.

I will tell the people I care about exactly how I feel about them. I will tell them that they've changed my life in so many incredible ways. That they've shaped me into who I am. That I miss them, all of them, every single day. That without them, I wouldn't survive. I will remind them how important they are. And I will do this often.

If the day comes, I will strive to be as amazing of a parent as both Dock and Dizz are. I will never, ever make my children feel alone. I will forgive them for their mistakes and flaws. I will hold their hand at the doctors office. Even when they're 26. I will support absolutely anything they find themselves to be passionate about. I will laugh with them, cry with them, suffer and celebrate with them. Every day.

I am saddened that something so painful happened to someone that I love very much, but I truly believe that he was brought into my life for a reason - and that has been confirmed. He taught me who I am.

The Nitty Gritty

I don't typically answer these sorts of chain emails (anymore. Let's be honest, I was a big fan of FB "notes" back in the day) but I received this today, filled out by a friend, and learned a few things. There are a ridic amount of questions - but, should you be interested - here it is. Anything you could ever possibly want to know about me.

Height: 5'8
Shoe Size: 7
Sexual Orientation: Love me some southern men
Age you get mistaken for: Last night at the KP concert, I was asked which high school I go to in Raleigh
Have Tattoos? Yes. This is not something I'm particularly proud of...
Want any tattoos? Sometimes I get the urge for another. But there are no other places on my body I'd want to tattoo
Got any Piercings? Yes. Too many
Want any piercings? There isn't anything left to pierce
Best friend? The B
Biggest fears: Losing my parents
Biggest celeb crush: Andy Samburg
Favorite Movie: Love Actually
I’ll love you if: You make me laugh
Someone you miss: Dock and Dizz
Most traumatic experience: Toronto. Almost didn't make it out alive
A fact about your personality: It's big
What I hate most about myself: My lack of patience
What I love most about myself: My genuine belief that I can find the good in any situation
What I want to be when I get older: Happy
My relationship with my sibling(s): I adore the Bub
My relationship with my parents: They are the epitome of who I want to be. A combination of kindness, humility and confidence
My idea of a perfect date: Any kind of sporting event filled with a passion for the event, and lots of laughs
My biggest pet peeves: The reply all button
A description of the girl/boy I like: Honesty and the patience that I lack
A description of my best friend: The B is everything I'm not. Brilliant, courageous, and 110% confident in every decision she makes
What my last text message says: "Miss your face"
What words upset me the most: "It is what it is"
What words make me feel the best about myself: "I enjoy working with you"
A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: To win the lottery
What I find attractive in boys. A good sense of humor. The ability to understand my family dynamic
Where I would like to live. I'm diggin Raleigh
One of my insecurities. A lot of people can't handle my laugh. I am insecure about that sometimes
My childhood career choice. I always knew I'd be in PR
My favorite ice cream. Ice cream hurts my belly, unfortunately. I'll only eat it on a "bad night" (ie: when Lucas and Peyton bolted) b/c I think I should. Always regret it
Who I wish I could be. I'm pretty jazzed about who I am
Where I want to be right now. In bed watching crappy TV. Or at the beach, drinking a pina colada
The last thing I ate. Filet Kabobs from Sitti. Delish.
Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. Sexy to me is funny. Andy Samburg (again)
A random fact about anything: John Wall is from Raleigh

Your turn!

DIG

A while ago, Dock and I decided to start a business. After our initial planning meeting, we named this business DIG - Draper Investment Group. Basically, the goal of our side start up company is to win the lottery. So, every Tuesday and Friday, it is mine and his responsibility to buy a (hopefully winning) lottery ticket. When one of us hits the jackpot, we will split the winnings 60 - 40. While I am the president of the company, he wins the 60 because frankly, he paid for the first, well, 25 years of my life. I probably owe him a few bucks.

So with this new endeavor, I have carefully selected Raleigh's lucky gas station and frequent this secret spot twice a week to invest in DIG. This morning, when I stopped to buy the ticket for tomorrow's drawing, "Pete" (I'm not sure that's his real name, since he can't speak a whole lot of English, but that's what he's asked me to call him now that we're friends) asked me what I would do with the winnings.

Naturally, during the rest of the drive to work (at my real job) I thought about what, exactly, I would spend all of that cash on. Before investing and saving, I came up with the first six things I would do with my 40%.

1. Pay for the rest of Bub's schooling
2. Buy my Chloe bag
3. Pay off the rest of my car
4. Head to Napa Valley for a week
5. Start a scholarship at the University of Kentucky that pays for a super fun girl interested in PR to go to school
6. Buy a bar so SL and I can make our dreams a reality

What would you do with your lottery winnings?

Motivation

Today has been "one of those days" (gross cliche, I know) and when late afternoon struck, I found myself needing some extra inspiration. Naturally, I turned to the jam. The iPhone offers an app called "Group Me" which allows you to text multiple people at one time. Obviously, we have each downloaded this app so we can text each other at the same time.

I took a quick break today, to go outside and step away from the computer. While doing so, I sent a Group Me text to the jam saying "Left the office for a few to take a walk. Need motivation. Whatchya guys got?" Here were the responses. All one after the other, lasting about 10 minutes:

Dock: Trip to Baltimore on Friday to see rents

Bub: Be happy you're employed, things could be a lot worse

Bub: You get to go to the beach to see your brother in a month

Bub: You're in the south

Bub: You're prettier than 92% of all people

Dock: Smart, great family, ability to read and write

Bub: No birth defects

Dock: College degree, look good in blue, learning to whistle

Bub: Your dad tells really witty and humorous jokes

Dizz: Not married to a leprechaun

Dock: And his children inherited his sense of humor AND his bike riding posture

Note: Watching Dock ride a bike may be the best thing ever

Dock: Your bother is an intermediate horseback rider

Bub: You don't have fat people ankles

Dock: You can tell directions with your fore finger and thumb

Dizz: It's almost happy hour


Welcome to the jam...